September 12th...

I, like most people, remember precisely where I was when the first and second planes hit on September 11th. I remember when the Pentagon was hit. And I remember when the fourth plane went down in the fields of Pennsylvania.

I was five days away from celebrating my first anniversary clean and sober on September 11, 2001. I remember going to a meeting that Tuesday, and again Friday night, clinging to my friends and trying to understand.

Do you remember September 12th??

Today I am remembering the days and weeks that followed that day. The feelings of utter helplessness, vulnerability, and betrayal. And later, the feelings of pride, and love for our nation's enduring fortitude. What an amazing nation we truly were then. I remember blood lines reaching so far out of buildings that people needed to be turned away. I remember bucket brigades. What a mixed bag of emotions. What an incredible process each of us needed to go through in order to try and make peace with what had occurred. One thing I'm sure of about, is that in those few weeks we were United. The same cannot be said of course, for the months that followed. (or years for that matter....)

Flash forward eight years...2009. On the 16th I will be celebrating 9 years clean and sober, and I have feelings of pride and love for MYSELF, for my own enduring fortitude.

Since getting sober I have always looked at September as the beginning of a new year. (as opposed to January or July) This last year for me wasn't about first tries, second tries, or third tries. This year was about what happens when I trust the process and stay in the fight. This year was about what happens when I trust myself enough to know that I have a right to be happy, that I am capable, and that I am supported. Always. This year was about chasing dreams, because...well shoot...why wouldn't I??

This year was about Natural Time. In Nia, the second principle is Natural Time. What Natural Time means is that I Trust the Process. My body knows what it is doing. My Spirit knows what it is doing. And my HP knows what He/She is doing. My job is to take action; act on my own behalf. My part of the Natural Time process is two-fold: first action, and then releasing results.
After I have done my best, I'm gold.

For today, I Just woke up. I have a cup of coffee. The house is still quiet. And today I am going to a corn roast with all of my favorite people, to celebrate recovery, healing, friendship, fellowship and family. Told ya! I'm gold!